TEENAGE
Let me begin with teenage. Teenage is the most crucial time in everyone’s life. The time when the parents are so much worried about their children and the time when the children see themselves as they are grown-up. They themselves create an environment in which they are comfortable with their so-called friends. Most of them feel comfortable in such an environment that gives them the pleasures of the world, neglecting the word of God in their life because they are not taught about what is God’s will about their life. Only the thing they see in this world and wherever they go is the fleeting pleasures that just give them temporary satisfaction. What they see and hear during this period of time will shape them and take them to the next stage of life.
YOUTH – THE RELATIONSHIP STORIES
Youthfulness is a period of fire inside of every young man and woman. This is the most important days of our life that we have to be more careful about. My life, my rules. Those were exactly the guidelines I used to follow until I met someone special in my life. Everyone has a beautiful love story and I too had a wonderful love story that ended up in a break-up that made me a slave for what I was not created for.
Whoever is reading this, I am sure that you might have been through the same way that I have experienced as a woman. You believed and trusted in one person thinking that he is the one who can complete you and he can only fulfill you and he is your destiny partner. You wish to get married to him and he promises that he will marry you and will be there for you for the rest of your life. After all the promises made between both of you, it will turn out to have many secrets that happen between you and your so-called destiny partner. You completely surrender yourself to him.
When we think that we are in a true relationship we give our full attention to the person whom we love the most. We will try to fulfill all his needs so that we may not lose him. But what happens when you realize that the lover of your soul who promised to marry you is cheating on you or is no longer interested in you, but interested in getting married to some other woman or got bored of having any kind of contact with you and trying to avoid you? Will you go and fight for getting him back or will you keep everything deep inside your heart as a big secret?
SECRETS DEEP INSIDE OF ME…
Every woman has their own secrets, hurts, and wounds that they would never ever wanted to share with anybody else in their life. Most of the women keep everything within her that will make her heartache each time she thinks or sees or hears about that person who was her everything. Her heart will give her a big bang that she couldn’t even endure, but still, keep everything in secret. She tries to cover it up by herself so that none else could see what’s happening with her. Covering oneself with all the makeups and all the things that will never let others know that she is totally broken inside. Some used to have sexual relationships outside the covenant of marriage and would end up in trauma when they’ll know that they were deceived.
See, this is what the world is. We are born into this earth as sinful beings. When once you get hurt by someone in your life very badly, you’ll start to get adjusted to whatever situations that come into your life saying that I am used to it. It’s all about our choice. We choose someone to be a part of life expecting that he is the one whom we are gonna get married to. But all those expectations will break apart when you come to know that they don’t even value you. They would choose rather be with someone else who they see as a better person, which is their way of thinking. But you get restless thinking about the new person who came into his life and searching whether she is good looking than you forgetting that it is written in the word of God that you are fearfully and wonderfully created (Psalms 139:14) by the creator of this universe the God Almighty, in his own image (Genesis 1:27).
It is difficult to believe. But the truth is that you have been saved from the hands of the enemy by our God and you really don’t try to see it because you are busy trying to find someone else whom you think that can fill the emptiness that your Ex has created in you, which is a big lie. The devil/ the enemy is a big liar and because you were blinded by the devil, you were only seeing the things of the world. Instead of surrendering yourself to God, you surrendered your life to the enemy who comes only to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10).
So he will lead you into a plight that will be like a big bundle of past ungodly experiences to be carried out throughout your life which makes you live in guilt always. That is exactly what the enemy wants. He always reminds you of your past experiences whenever you are fed up and you wanted to put an end to all the ungodly activities that you were doing throughout your life. He comes and starts whispering into your ears that there is no way out of it and whatever he says to you is just to make you a slave in his kingdom.
But there is a good great God who can hear you and deliver you from all the mess you have made. I have been through it and he has delivered me out of all the ungodly activities that I was engaged with. If you trust and believe in God, he can restore to you everything that you lost and you can be washed and cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ who is still waiting for you to return to him(Ther real lover of our souls).
THE BREAK-UP TRAUMA
This is the after-effect of a relationship break-up. You gave yourself completely to someone with so much expectation that he will take care of you and out of love you gave everything that he wanted because you never wanted to lose him and you even thought that he is your future because he promised to get married to you. When you came to know that you are no longer needed because he took everything he wanted and found someone else in their life to get married so that he can enjoy a new life with her. What about you? how do you see yourself now? all you see yourself is like a scrap.
You are messed up and you feel like destroying yourself and you will start to hate yourself for allowing you to be surrendered to someone who didn’t even think about you even when he was with you. It is difficult to accept the reality, but that is the truth. He was just using you for his pleasures to be fulfilled. All the uncomfortable positions you said you enjoyed even though you were experiencing pain were only because the desire inside your heart was not to lose him.
You completely enjoyed his presence rather than the physical relationship you had with him. But realizing the fact that all he enjoyed was the physical relationship and he used you like a puppet in his hands and as an experimenting tool before he ties a knot with someone else in his life, that shatters you and you are not able to accept the fact that you were used and thrown away like chaff after taking away the grain inside of you.
You said yes to everything he asked because your heart was full of love towards him. A big portion of you is gone away from you and all you have left is your body that was used and abused. All you experience is the dirty and unclean feeling. You can’t even go in search of someone else to get married to you because deep inside of you there will be an intense feeling that you are useless and you decide in your heart that all men are the same like the one who came destroyed your life. You don’t even trust men after that because the wound he created in you is so deep that you cannot allow anyone else to break your heart anymore.
You accept in your mind that you are unwanted and unloved and try to compare yourself with the one with whom your ex is currently hooked up. You start seeing them in front of you spending time and enjoying together and you will have a kind of churning inside your stomach. Your heart beats so fast and you can’t even show your real broken emotion outside because you never want others to see it. All that ends up with weeping in the midnight by squeezing your pillows and covering your mouth with the other end so that none else in your home would know what you are going through and if the pillow was real, then that it would have bled.
You might be going through a traumatic situation in your life. Sleepless and weepy nights, Swollen eyes, trying to hurt and kill yourself, putting all the blame on yourself for what he had done, and instead of understanding that there is nothing wrong with you and it was only his selfish intention that made you go through this traumatic situation, you kept on cursing yourself. Constantly looking at your phone and seeing him online in the late night with tears in your eyes again trying to text him and deleting the same but hoping inside that you he might text you. Seeing him taking care of his new girlfriend in front of you exactly the same way that how he used to be with you and all the dreams that you dreamt with him together is getting fulfilled in somebody else’s life.
Each time you pass through the places where you both used to spend the most, and all the memories come into your mind like a fire and you will be in a situation that you are burning inside and you need someone to help you to come out of this situation but you can’t share it with anybody. This is only a tiny portion of the situations that you go through after your breakup. There might be situations that are worse than this.
The more you keep the secrets inside of you, you will go to the stage of depression. You should understand that depression, diseases, discomfort, distress, and all these kinds of D words come from the devil. Those people who used to say that you are a great couple will see you now in a different way. They don’t see the brokenness in you but only they do is judge you. Your place is defiled because of the acts that happened between both of you and the more you stay there, you will be restless.
Everything is emotionally attached. You know that he has stepped over you and was just cheating on you, but you still want him to come back to you because you think he can only complete you. That is completely a wrong concept but you don’t want to accept it. The person who didn’t value you when you were with him for years is never going to have that kind of thing that makes you complete.
The reality is that you don’t want to give up on what has happened in your life. You want to move forward with a new life but you are not able to move on. The final try you make to move by yourself is by force. Don’t surrender your life to anyone who doesn’t know your value. You are precious in our God’s eyes. Each path that you selected and each wrong turns that you took made you face the dead-end in your life. But God was right there for you and waiting for you, hoping that you will come back one day.
TRYING TO MOVE ON
You will try your level best to find a new partner and to move on, but you failed again and again because every time you find a new person and start a relationship, one or the other way you remember that there is nothing new inside of you to give to him. All you have is dirty pieces of the leftover scraps because the person who really you were was completely stolen by your Ex. You have only the bits and pieces left after your past relationship. You go from person to person, looking for the real man who can understand you and who can love you. You have in your mind that you want to show your Ex that you are enjoying a new life with your new relationship and you fail.
You forget the fact that your heart was once crushed and torn apart by someone else and all which was left is just the fragments of your heart. With that, you go to the next person and all you want is that let him know about your past relationship and expect him to accept you the way you are. But when you reveal about your past all you have to think is that this revealing of your past can be used against you as a dreadful weapon.
You hope that he is the one who can heal your broken heart and you are giving your broken pieces of heart to somebody else expecting that he will take care of it. I can assure you that you are going into the wrong hands again. Do not play with your life. Life is like fire. You can’t play with it and if you play, then for sure you will be burnt to death.
When we go for worldly relationships, we can experience breakups, trauma, tears, suicidal tendencies, and a lot more. You go from relationships to relationships and mess up your God-given gift which is your life. Last you come to a conclusion that your life is going to be a mess like this and all that men needed is your body and the sexual pleasures. So you go from person to person which makes you go through promiscuous relationships. All you decide is that your life will be like this again and you don’t have a way out.
You are messed up. What you feel about yourself is that you are dirty, unclean, uncovered, nasty, defiled, etc. But that is all because of your choice. You choose to have this kind of worldly life rather than choosing the godly life. Many of them don’t even know that there is a real God who is always there for you whenever you are in a trouble. Only he is the one who can heal your broken heart and bind up your wounds(Psalm 147:3).
THE WAY OUT
I messed up my life and I thought that there is no way out for my life unless I met Jesus the lover of my soul. See I have been through the worst experiences in my life. I was grown up in a Christian family but still, I didn’t even know anything in the bible. I would like to encourage every woman to start reading their bible because it is the word of the true living God. It is life and it has the power to transform your life. You will be no longer the person you used to be. I challenge you at least to give it a try because that living word is so powerful that it can separate your soul and spirit (Hebrews 4:12).
“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
Isaiah 1:18
This is the verse and the promise that I received when I was going through a messy life. It’s a promise that I received. Whatever mess and ungodly things I have made in my life, our God has a solution. He always waits for you and when he sees that you are coming back, he is there to settle everything and wash you and cleanse you from all the vulgar things that you have done in your life. He is a God of grace and that grace is sufficient for everything in this life. There is only one single thing that we must be able to do. That is to believe in the God Almighty who created you.
I accepted Lord Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. That changed my life. He is the only one who can change your life and he is the only one who can transform your life and make you a miracle in front of others. I lived according to others’ opinions and according to their wills. Now it doesn’t matter because I have freedom in Christ who redeemed me and I live according to his will. The people who used to make decisions over my life stopped their way of attitude towards me because they started to see the power of Christ over my life. His love flows like a river. I would like to say you that the most wonderful thing in the world is Jesus. that is the only thing that you can get free of cost. For everything you have done, he has paid it all in full. You were in the slave market kept for bidding. He came and chose you and bought you at a price that none else can pay. He gave his life for you so that you who are a slave can be set free. He called you by name and he is the one who can cleanse you and wash you from all the sins of your past and give you a new life.
Give your heart to Lord Jesus and he will heal your heart so that none else will break your heart again unless you allow someone to break it. Close all the open doors in your life that made you welcome the enemy into your life. When Jesus is the Lord over your life, then the enemy cannot withstand his presence. All you have to do is to guard your heart with all diligence.
Beware of the plans of the enemy and whenever temptation comes, fight it in Jesus’s name. You are a blessing and you are going to be a blessing for many nations. Prepare yourself. Do not live in guilt. That is brought by the enemy. He comes to kill steal and destroy and he is the father of all lies. you are beautiful and precious in his eyes. No weapon formed against you shall prosper(Isaiah 54:17). You are set free and your life is safe in his hands. Be careful about each step you take.
This new life is the best life that you can enjoy the most. Surrender your life to the Lord. Accept Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior, repent of your sins, forgive the ones who hurt you(I know that is difficult but believe that he will give you grace), Renounce each and everything one by one that you were doing in the past, and start enjoying your new life. Begin your day with prayer and by reading the word of God. He gives you hope that you can move forward and live life to the fullest and be completely satisfied because he only can satisfy you. When Jesus is there in your life, you will hate everything that God hates and you will never go back to the past and live in a victim mentality. Your mentality is going to be victorious. Whatever you have been through, it’s your past. But believe that your future is going to be the best. You are a child of God. You are the daughter of the King of kings and you are a princess. So live like a princess, talk like a princess, walk like a princess, and act like a princess.
When you want to make a decision, ask God your father. Start praying. Read the word of god. Even if you do not understand it, read it. Replace every old passion with a passion towards God. You will be amazed to see the way your life changes and in each and everything and the Holy Spirit will guide you and lead you in each step you take. you are God’s child. So live according to that. You are not defined by your past. You live with the identity of Christ Jesus. Lend no ears to others who judge you. Many peoples define you by your past but believe that your past is forgotten & forgiven by God our father.
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
Hebrews 8:12
God is never going to judge you according to what you have done. He will never remember your sins. You are not what others say you are. You are what God says you are. Your future is not decided by the men you see, it is already decided by your Heavenly Father. Stop following the men you see and start following the real man Jesus who looks into your eyes and speaks. You are going to be a real living testimony in front of everyone who has hurt you, abused you, and devalued you. God is going to exalt you in front of everyone who mocked you. Enjoy your new life with Jesus and remember that you are not a product of your past. You are the product of the Cross.
4 thoughts on “Special Edition For young women”
Hey …… that was sooooooooo beautiful and extremely touching. It encouraged me a lot. I would recommend this to every girls I know. I would like to hear more from you.
Thankyou for sharing!!
Praise be to God Almighty.
Thank you Nileena for your encouragement..
The post is lengthy but worth the read, so true it really puts out how you struggled and got through. I can do all things through Christ it strengthens me. Indeed he has strengthened you, hope this is read by many and be encouraged.