Yesterday was my baby brother’s 23rd birthday. It’s like I blinked and suddenly found myself in the future. I guess that, that is how fast time can pass you by. Every Sunday after church, Brett and I catch up with my sister, her husband, their kids, my mum and sometimes my little brother. It’s quite strange to think about, that when I was a teenager I was doing everything to escape spending time with my family. I think that may have been to all the trauma I was exposed to as a young child. We’ve all been through tough times with each other and I’m sure also in our own individual lives. Yesterday as we sat on the picnic blanket, having a picnic – it was hot and I felt so tired, but I felt so grateful for the short time that we were getting to spend time together. I think it’s safe to say that, this good thing of a family unit coming together to spend time together regularly when we all can, was, has been and continues to be completely orchestrated by the hand of God.
James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Last Wednesday night, I to my surprise found myself in the hospital with Brett. On the way home from volunteer work, I was really hungry so I grabbed a box of muesli bars as we did a bit of a food shop. On the way back to the car, I ate an entire muesli bar, that was loaded with peanuts, which I was completely oblivious to. It was my own fault because I didn’t think to read the label. Anyway so we stopped at a servo and I got a bottle of a banana smoothie and I thought that would wash down the allergic reaction I was having, but after I finished the smoothie, it felt like my throat was closing up and I became bright red and swollen in the face. I said to Brett we could just stop near the hospital, just in case I need to go in, like if I started to have troubles breathing or something. There was a huge like in the emergency department and while I waited at first, Brett went to go and speak to reception about how I was having an allergic reaction to the peanuts and he was told to bring me straight to the front counter in emergency. I didn’t think that it was that much of a big deal, the nurse ended up giving me an antihistamine and made me wait for an hour. Brett and I thought that, after an hour of being monitored that we would then be able to go home. Instead to my surprise again, I was put in the short stay unit, where I waited another three hours, not being sure if I would have to stay the night. Brett was great, he left and went and got us dinner and came back with the wrong phone charger, but also with my Bible. With my phone almost dead, I felt that Jesus was wanting to speak with me, one on one through me reading the Bible and with all distractions aside.
All I remember saying to Jesus, that I didn’t want to have to stay overnight, but if I had to, I surrender everything to you. As me being in a hospital has never really been a good experience and I think this was the first hospital admission I had had, since three years prior, when I has been admitted for mania.
When I was finally discharged from hospital at around 9:20pm. I was so grateful to Jesus for letting me go home. And that for the first time, I didn’t go crazy while waiting in a hospital room all alone with all my thoughts and feelings. This time I didn’t focus on my emotions and my thoughts, I just surrendered to God all my insecurities and all my frustrations. Then I just rested in His presence, telling myself, that no matter what was to happen to me that night, that it was for my own good and that Jesus knew better than me, so it was best that I just rest and trust in Him.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.
I’m learning more and more that there is nothing that is too hard for God. He never sleeps or slumbers and is always looking out for our best interests. Even when it doesn’t seem like it or things don’t look the way we want them too. How hard is it to put one’s whole faith in God? Will you surrender and trust Him? Let go and let God, He’ll never fail you and He knows exactly what you need, when you need it.
Philippians 4:19 God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
I realise that it is easier said than done, but trust Him, have a little faith in Him, step back and watch Him come through for you. He did and always does for me and that’s my testimony for today. I’m standing on the eternal rock that is Jesus Christ, won’t you stand on His rock of eternal promises to you too? He is a faithful, loving God, nothing and no one can compare to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!
Blessings
MH