This is my testimony…
My first cry out to the Lord was at the age of 20. I am now 39 years old. I’ve been serving the Lord for 19 years, but that’s nothing to brag about because my dear friend, I am not where I’m supposed to be for a Christian that has been serving the Lord for 19 years!
Why you might ask… Well, I’ll tell you why. As a matter of fact, there are so many reasons why, but I want to highlight the big gun, the reason why I’ve been falling throughout the years. The reason why I would take a step forward and immediately take a million back. Now I’m sure there are a few of you that can relate right? I’ve been comparing myself to other Christians and just could not understand why in the world I’m not progressing. The Word of God says that Jesus came so that we might have life, and that we might have it more abundantly (John10:10b). Yet here I was over the years not able to move forward in m walk with the Lord, understanding my calling, in my prayer life. I made bad decisions over the years (and a few right ones) but I just couldn’t move past a few things.
Now, I kept on dreaming of a snake chasing me, now this same snake have been chasing me in my dreams for years. Until God lead me in my dream to turn around and face this snake. Now this snake have been chasing me on the same spot as well and that was at my childhood home. I dreamt one night of this snake chasing me at my childhood home and in my dream a voice told me to turn around and face it because it’s not going to stop chasing me. I turned around in my dream to face this snake and to my surprise, the snake stopped and was shocked that I turned around. I woke up after that but can’t forget the look on this snake’s face. I got up and went to pray in the dark. And I felt that it was a spirit of stagnation on my life. My childhood home represented that. The snake chasing me was witchcraft, alliances made in my childhood home delaying my advancement in life.
I started praying and in a vision, I was taken to a dark dungeon like room with a brick wall with golden plates all over it. I knew I wasn’t on earth in this vision, nor was I in heaven. And God lead me to one of the gold plates on the wall and what I saw was the most shocking thing ever. I saw my name on Satan’s wall. In his trophy room, my name was pinned to his wall. Writing this, still gives me mixed emotions of shock, anger and just more shock. My name was on his wall along with so many other Christian’s names.
How can Satan have my name in his trophy room, pinned to a wall? I am a child of God! How in the world can it be, I’m saved. My name is written in heaven. Why am I bound to Satan?
The revelation came through teachings and searching the Lord for answers. I am going to list a few:
- Generational Sins- Sins of my forefathers.
- I was sexually molested as a child
- My own unrepented sin
- Ungodly alters over my bloodline- Alters of sexual sin, witchcraft and alcoholism.
God lead me to repent on behalf of my forefathers. The sexual sin, the abuse, the alcoholism, the theft, murder, betrayal. The list was very long. Then I had to forgive the molester (who happens to be a family member) that was a hard one because sexual molestation lead to severe anger in my life. I had to repent of my own sin, where I fell over the years, even the unseen sin, the sinful thoughts and feelings. And finally, God lead me to demolishing the satanic alters of witchcraft and sexual molestation.
I don’t know how you experience Holy Spirit but he even showed me how sanctions where made against us as a family to stagnate us. Word curses, jealousy etc.
I can go on and on about the long list of issues I had to work through, but I think you the picture. May Holy Spirit show you your reasons.
I do want to get to the result, although it’s still a work in progress because God just showed me more yesterday.
Since God took me on this journey, I’ve not just progressed, my mind has been transformed through the Word of God. I have a revelation of who God is, by the way I call him my God forever. Since I pulled down and demolished the ungodly alters and rebuilt it with a God alter in the spirit, I’ve been more at peace. I can sleep at night without having snake dreams. I believe that it was God’s unfailing love and grace that even though I felt I’m not worthy enough to get anything from God, that he still showed up and showed me the reasons. He didn’t just show me, he even guided me on how to get rid of it.
God is a God of true grace and mercy. My name was written in hell, even though I was saved. But God! He lead me that night to take my name off that wall and to declare the blood of Jesus over me and I was re-established and redeemed. Yes I’ve been serving the Lord for 19 years but man oh man, I’m more in love with him now than ever. I have a better understanding of who my God forever is. He is merciful, He is love, He is the deep lover of my soul.
What he has done for me, he can do for you too. Ask the Lord today what your reasons are. Why you can’t go forward, why you struggling. God is faithful and true enough to show you. He wants to show you because he loves you.
I’m praying for you and trust that Jesus will show up in your life today to show you and guide you as he did me.
Amen.
