When I was a child, I used to hear stories that when people died, they used to come to our house or in a dream, especially those who were close to us. I used to fear this, and without realizing it, this fear built up inside of me and could one day explode.
When I was 33, my father passed away. It was so sudden that I couldn’t process it, so after a week, I used to have dreams where he visited me. At first, I was not afraid, as I thought that he really visited me, and I thought it was a good thing. So every day, I dreamed he visited me, advising me and teaching me many things, which I believed at first. I remember one day in my dream he was telling me about our mother, he told me: not to trust my mother whatever she says as she couldn’t take care of us. I believed him at first and started to distance myself from my mother. This is something my father would never have said when he was still alive. Then, one day, I dreamed he told me not to trust my wife anymore because he saw what she was doing. In those days, my wife and I lived separately due to work. She worked in a different state, and I worked in a different state, which was very far away, at a distance of around 2000km.
At first, I was about to believe what he said, but I also had some doubts because when my father was still alive, he would never have spoken about my wife. Then, slowly, the thought occurred to me: what if it’s not my real father who visited my dream? Then who is it? I did some research on the internet and found that sometimes demons can turn into my father in my dreams. Then I started to fear: what if these are demons? Then, a time came when I was so afraid that I was even afraid to fall asleep, because as soon as I fell asleep, I saw my father come in a dream. I was so terrified and woke up every time; I could not even sleep.
Days passed; I was afraid to sleep and struggled every night without proper rest. I was even afraid that if I did not get enough sleep, how would I go to work and drive the next morning? This even brought me more stress.
But before all these things happened to me, I used to read my Bible, the Word of God, so I had read these words in 2 Chronicles 20:17, which I believed the Holy Spirit reminded me of again and again.
2 Chronicles 20:17 GNT
“You will not have to fight this battle. Just take up your positions and wait; you will see the LORD give you victory. People of Judah and Jerusalem, do not hesitate or be afraid. Go out to battle, and the LORD will be with you!”
So I felt God told me not to be afraid because the battle belongs to Him. All I needed to do was stand still, face my fears or the enemy, and God would fight for me and I would see the salvation of the Lord. But knowing the one who visited me every night was not my father, how could I not be afraid? I was so terrified, even to sleep. One night, I slept and saw him come and give me some food, which I took and ate. After that, I woke up and was so terrified because I ate the food he gave. Now, I thought I was going to die because I ate the food he gave. All day, I was in fear, heavy and stressed; I didn’t know what to do. Then I searched through YouTube to see if there might be some person who faced the same problem as I did. I instead found some YouTube prophet who said if I ate the food he gave in my dream, then I was in great danger, which gave me even more fear. Then I cried out to God, “I don’t know what to do.” Then God heard my cry, and when I read His Word, He showed me Mark 16:18:
Mark 16:18 GNT
“if they pick up snakes or drink any poison, they will not be harmed; they will place their hands on sick people, and these will get well.”
Then I understood and believed it would not harm me because God is with me. Then God showed me again from His Word James 4:7:
James 4:7 GNT
“So then, submit yourselves to God. Resist the Devil, and he will run away from you.”
Then I submitted myself to God, even though I didn’t know how, and trusted that He would take care of him. Why should I be afraid? I have God, who is more powerful than anything in the whole universe, because I know demons were afraid of the name of Jesus; they were terrified. So I let go of my fear that night and let God take care of it. That night, God gave me the courage to face him without fear. When I slept, I saw him coming again in the form of my father, but I was not afraid. I resisted him and rebuked him in the name of Jesus. I saw that he was afraid and bowed his head. From that time, every time I dream about him, I resist him. It’s like he can’t do anything to me; he cannot touch me because I gave him to God, and I trust God took care of him—and He did. I have nothing to fear.
Sometimes I have multiple fears that I cannot fall asleep; I’m fighting to fall asleep because I fear I won’t be able to drive to work. What if I met an accident because I might be sleepy while driving, or what if I take a cab? That also makes me feel like I’m not trusting God. I overthink the whole night and cannot sleep. I feel that my body needs deep rest and sleep in order to repair my damaged tissue and recharge my energy. Then God showed me this verse from Isaiah 40:29-31 GNT:
Isaiah 40:29-31 GNT
“He strengthens those who are weak and tired. [30] Even those who are young grow weak; young people can fall exhausted. [31] But those who trust in the LORD for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.”
Then God made me understand it’s not about sleep that I need; I should not fight for sleep, but I should wait for Him, because He can repair my body and renew my energy even if I cannot sleep, so I should trust Him. I still have doubts: what if I fall asleep while driving? I can hear God saying to me that He will take care of the vehicle; He will slowly and carefully bring it to a stop. So I believed that day that if God knew something would happen to me, He would not let me start the car. So, even though for weeks I couldn’t sleep properly, I still went to work every day, and while driving, I did not feel weak or tired. I believed God strengthened me even if I couldn’t sleep, just as He promised in His Word. Even though I doubted and my faith was weak and shaken, God is still faithful, and He always will be.
Then, from that time, I started to get a peaceful sleep. If I wait for God, sometimes, even though I have this burning pain on my shoulder, I can feel God taking away the pain and putting me into a deep sleep. I still saw my father in appearance (who was not my real father) in my dreams, but I saw that he was afraid to come near me, and I was not afraid of him anymore because I know God is with me. Then, day by day, slowly, he disappeared from my dreams.
Since then, I have had peaceful sleep every night, and I thought it was God who saved and helped me. You know, before, I always felt that God is the Father and Jesus is the Son, so whenever I prayed, I always prayed to God, who is the Father, and not to Jesus, who is only the Son. That is what I used to feel; when I prayed, I was always thinking of God, who is higher than Jesus. Until that day when Jesus spoke to me. He said it was He who saved me from all my troubles; He is the same God who helped Israel, the same God of Abraham, the same God of David. He is the same God who created us, heaven, the earth, and everything. In fact, we can only come to the Father through Him; Jesus is the only way. That is why He died for us and took away our sins so that we can come to our Father in heaven. As the Word of God tells us, John 14:6 GNT:
John 14:6 GNT
“Jesus answered him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one goes to the Father except by me.””
So, it was Jesus who saved me, and He can save you too. Remember: the battle belongs to Him; all we have to do is stand still and wait for Him because He already won the battle.Â
So whenever you have fear or doubt or struggle in life and you don’t know what to do, take your Bible, pray and read, God will show you the verse and He will always tell you what to do. The word of God is a living Word, He always speaks to us through His Words.Â
Isaiah 41:10 GNT
[10] Do not be afraid—I am with you! I am your God—let nothing terrify you! I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you.
https://bible.com/bible/68/isa.41.10.GNTÂ Â Â
.—–Scripture quotations marked (GNT) are from the Good News Translation in Today’s English Version-Second Edition. Copyright © 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by Permission.